Doozy of a week

I knew leading into last week was going to be rough.  My boss was going to be out of town for a week and a half and I was in charge, in addition to the 1001 things I had to do.

Sunday-my cats weren’t having any part of the foster kittens anymore.  This included food protests. I returned the kittens to their foster mommy, who was expecting them back already anyhow.  I really wanted to give her another week of a break, but my kitties needed a break from the babies.

Monday-I honestly don’t remember much of Monday, except for having to deal with a very sensitive issue outside of work.  I tried to handle it the best I could.  It had been causing me stress for months, especially in the last month.  It wasn’t easy or pleasant and I hated that I had to do it.

Tuesday-Was a LONG day. Text from dad that mom’s Dr appt turned into a go to the hospital appt, to lets do an EKG, to she’s admitted.  WHAT?!?!  Yes, they kept her because they wanted an angiogram Wednesday afternoon.

I had to take care of LUNA that night and a meeting, which was only made easier because ODB is super smart and was able to walk me through what everything meant and exactly what mom was going to have happen.  Only thing that would have made me feel even better was him here to console me.

Wednesday- Worked a very hectic half day.  Sister and I jumped in the car, made a pit stop at Buccee’s to pick up some cheer-me-ups for mom, and made our way.  We didn’t tell her we were coming.  Surprise!  We got there about 1.5 hours before they took her away.  She was back pretty quickly.  They didn’t put any stints in.  She has to be on a few medications through to try to handle everything. She had to lie down for 3 hours after her procedure.  We went to ate and brought her food back.  Dad and sister thought mexican food was a good idea.  Dr said she could eat whatever she wanted, and my family obeyed that.  Enchiladas, rice and beans, isn’t exactly my idea of heart patient food.  

She had to stay overnight.  Sister and I went home.

Thursday-I was working on almost no sleep now.  I hadn’t been sleeping anyhow before the mom thing and that just piled on top of all of the other stress.  Hectic day at work and then had to take Chanel to the vet.  She still wasn’t eating well and she was bony.  I feared the worst.  All week I had been crying at night over it.  I even researched pet crematoriums because I was certain she was dying.  On the way home from work to get her, I had an absolute meltdown on the freeway, sobbing over my poor little kitty.  I was also upset that ODB wasn’t here to help me deal with whatever I was going to be told.

Thank God she’s ok.  Vet said it was probably still stress from the kittens, but she had a tiny little kidney elevation.  I needed to make her drink more water and eat low protein food.  Apparently her love of freshly cooked meat and me trying to make her gain weight in the last year was NOT a good idea.  So I was sent home with a very tiny bag of catfood which wasn’t cheap.  Whatever it takes to make her better.

Friday-Another long day at work, but at least I did get away at lunch for a swim.  I am fairly disappointed with my swimming skills and I know if ODB was around more, I would be able to practice with an expert coach more often.  ODB finally told me after my swim that I needed to chill the hell out and give myself a break.  He pointed out everything I had been through during the week and why I needed to cut myself some slack.  He’s a smart one I tell you!

After work, sister and I headed home for mom’s birthday.  I had planned on celebrating with her next weekend, but with everything that happened last week, she needed the cheer up.

Weekend-Greenfest was this weekend and I didn’t expect to feel the emotions I did.  I quit enjoying the Saturday night GF party years ago.  I never was much into partying until you pass out.  I did miss the day time stuff.   I did miss the company.  And the river.  And seeing people.  But the other half of me worried about how I would be treated if I showed up, because while I didn’t do anything wrong, I am an ex.  Exes always get the bad rap.  Even though we were both single when we first started going to GW and GF parties, I am sure things really wouldn’t be the same.  That’s ok.  That is another phase in my life that has passed.  All of  that didn’t really matter anyhow, because I was not in my own car, and at the mercy of my sister.

Speaking of phases, I made the comment on Saturday, I feel like I am stuck between my former life and the one that I want.  I don’t much like being stuck.

I am looking forward to this week being a little kinder to my heart and my mind. 

Getting back on the rails

It was a rough week for me.   Stress has increased.   Stress is bad bad bad for me.  Work, extracurriculars, personal life all had a few hiccups.

There was a point last week when the stress got to be so bad, someone confirmed my stress bloat.  He said I looked at least 6 months pregnant.  This lasted for almost 3 days.   The stress bloat has since gone away, thank goodness.    Don’t worry, that someone is ODB, and I am glad that he can be honest with me like that.  I wish he was here all of the time, I think I would handle stress a lot different.  He grounds me.

I had to send the foster kittens home today.  I told their rescuer that I would keep them another week to give her a break, but it was beginning to really stress out my 2 cats.  So much so, they quit eating.   All signs of kittens are now erased, hopefully my girls will be happy now.

Today was the first time I’ve menu planned in writing in months.  I can’t remember the last time I did.  Lately I’ve just been grabbing random healthy foods and just combining them as needed.  It works, but it’s not my norm.  I did make a recipe for last week’s lunches, which was great, but I was off track on dinner.  Not health wise, just organizationally.

So I’m hoping this week will be better in all areas.  Breakfasts and lunches are made and packed as always.  Boss is on vacation, so work stress will probably be elevated, I just need to make sure I have a good handle on it.

I am back to AutoImmune Paleo tomorrow.  I need to tough it out strictly for at least 30 days.  AIP makes Dr. L’s protocol easier too.   One of my Austin gals was told to do Whole 30 by her Dr., so I told her I would be her accountability buddy!  AIP is more strict, but the accountability is what I need.  I know it makes me feel better.  Stacy Toth from Paleo Parents posted last week that she healed her stomach so much, she was able to successfully reintroduce dairy!   That’s not a near future goal of mine, but long term that could be good!

Looking forward to starting my week off right 🙂

Insanity

What do they say?  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?

That’s me in a certain relationship.  One that is wearing on me BAD in the last 6 months.  I don’t need the stress of someone who has issues and can’t manage them.  

Compassion only goes so far.  Especially when there is a pattern and history.

Things I like Thursday: podcasts

So I listened to a lot of the thyroid sessions a few weeks ago.  I liked Ben Greenfield Fitness, so I started following him on Facebook, signed up for his newsletter, and subscribed to his podcast.

I usually listen to podcasts when I travel alone and when I workout.  It’s what I do to learn (geeky podcasts) and laugh (Adam Carolla) when I am busy.

I am digging Ben’s podcast so far.  I listened to one about anxiety (it was very eye opening), one about weight issues with thyroid problems, and my favorite so far, aging like a badass.  The aging podcast featured a Texas athlete/author which offer some great tips and advice.  Definitely need to evaluate his advice and apply it to my own life.  He makes quite a few biblical references too, which I found to be refreshing.   I’ve been sorting through the rest of Ben’s 2014 podcasts to see which ones apply to me the most.

I used to listen to Paleo Parents and Balanced Bites, but I couldn’t keep up with all of them.  I’ve started being pretty selective with my Carolla podcasts as well, since he broadcasts 5 days a week, I can’t keep up.  I was once caught up, but then I didn’t have any for the gym 😉   So I  keep at least 2 in the playlist at any given time, so I have 2 workouts worth ready!

Ways to heal

I think we can all say we have some sort of healing to do.  These days, I am in need of more healing than I imagined.  Granted, I could be MUCH worse off, so I am trying to limit my whining and not throwing a pity party (ok maybe a small one).

You know what sucks?  That I thought I was treating my body well, eating good things, working out, staying fit.   Enjoying my life and relieving stress.  Instead I was causing more stress on my body.  It’s a hard pill to swallow.  I thought I was doing everything right.  I have friends who eat garbage and are fine.  I have friends that barely eat and they are fine.  I have friends that run super high miles and they are fine.  I have sedentary friends, they are fine.    I don’t understand what I did to cause some of the issues I have, and it’s making me sad. Externally, I’ve not had injuries, but what you can’t see, can still hurt you.

Waiting to get tests back to determine my next course of action.  But I know most of my hormones are trashed.  I hope to heal those and to wean off most of the medications except the thyroid, that’s likely long term.  The tests will tell me just how long my workout hiatus will be.  Could be a few weeks, could be months, could be longer.

I’m trying to put a positive and fun spin on my new adventures.  Walking and yoga.  I bought myself several new yoga outfits on Saturday.  I need more workout clothes like I need a hole in my head, but I prefer to run in shorts and well, no one wants to see me do yoga in shorts.  Retail therapy helps, a little.

Running is a no.  All cardio is a no.  No until further notice.   I’m willing to do whatever it takes though, to be 100% healthy again.  I don’t remember what that feels like I am VERY eager to experience it again!