2014 year in review

January

Honestly I don’t remember anything from the first month of the year, except I had a horrible run at 3M. It was Shiner all over again. I could not breathe for anything. I finished and was SO glad to be done. And I spent some time with ODB which was SO nice.

February

February was crazy. More than 1 ice storm. Bought a house by myself, on my birthday. Ran Austin for the first time ever and I felt fine, but my time was disappointing. My godson turned 1. I had an admirer hot on my tail and I was not thrilled about that. Went to see ODB.

March

Another crazy ice storm. ODB came to my house for the first time and I LOVED every second of it. He helped me do so many things! SXSW, I went to see Jimmy Kimmel, met Adam Carolla, and went to Rachel Ray’s party. Less time and less music but still a fun year. Big work trip.

April

Another work trip, got to see ODB. San Francisco for LUNA. Fried my iphone and had to get another.

May

To be honest, I don’t remember anything except missing the Drive By Truckers concert.

June-July

The most days I think I’ve ever had with ODB in one month! Vacations, 2 trips here to see me, one there to see him. Our first vacation together and we didn’t kill each other (and it was amazing). Saw my college roomie. Big work function. Took some added duties at work.

August

Other than Dessert Dash, drawing a blank with August. I do know it was HOT.

September

Sister’s bday. It’s the beginning of the year at work, I don’t remember much. Ran relay and I did pretty horrible.

October

Several work trips. Several ODB trips. Several really good runs.

November

Another work trip. BIG speedbump for ODB and I. Made it through and I love him even more after all of it. Several ODB trips.

December

LOTS of ODB (not enough). LOTS of work. Christmas with family. Time with my BFF and godson. An extended drive down 290 (smirk). And I closed the door on someone who no longer deserves to be part of my life.

In 2015 I look forward to the story that will be written. It is my hope that my love for ODB continues to grow, I get to see my godson more, and I spend less time worrying about work and more time enjoying life. CHEERS!

Back in business

I turned off my blog a few months ago. ODB suggested I bring it back.

So I went and looked back at the last blog I did. Wow how things have changed!

October was a great month for me at work. Promotion, lots of travel, seeing ODB. And then things turned. Damn it, I am crying trying to even type right now. We made it through, but it wasn’t easy. I am not sure I was as strong as I should have been. Looking back I really think some of my reactions weren’t the best, but they were honest.

So I’m back to blogging. About what, I don’t know. I don’t follow weight watchers anymore and haven’t in a couple of years. I do still cook. I do still have thyroid issues. I still run (sorta). And i’m still madly in love with ODB 🙂 So topics TBA!

Ay Ay Ay!

The last week has been a blur.

Friday-helped mom finish sister’s birthday shopping. Cooked parents dinner at sister’s house. Made her GF magic bar cupcakes.

Saturday-relay race. I got severely dehydrated and ran pretty dang slow. Then stupid me didn’t drink up until 2 pm. Went out for sister’s birthday.

Sunday-my shoulders were so sore I couldn’t move, guessing it was from my dehydration. I went to the gym but couldn’t do much of anything.

Monday-Wednesday-blur. Work was super busy. I tried to run Tuesday but only had time for 2 miles, which was brutal. Started getting in a funk this morning and I can see it lasting for the next week. I keep fighting it, but can’t shake it. My heart is hurting pretty badly right now. I know how to make it better, but I don’t see that happening. That hurts even more. I want to magically fix everything and to live happily (most of the time) ever after. I want my fairy tale damn it!

Never heard back from Dr. L, which makes me sad. I have no idea what to do now. I can’t wait 2 more months to see him and keep buying stuff that may not be helping me. May be trying my mom’s Dr. in SA soon.

I am probably not renewing my domain in a few weeks, so it may be back to https://melissadishes.wordpress.com. Will keep you posted.

Back at it

This week I seem to have finally gotten back in my groove. Routine is finally coming back to me. I am balancing everything just fine.

Well except the fact that today was an optional holiday and I worked 5 hours. I should have worked 0 hours. I haven’t had a day off I didn’t get from working extra hours since Florida in early July. That seems like YEARS ago. I was told today I was a work-a-holic. I don’t think that’s it. It’s my personality and ethic. I’ve probably been putting more effort into a few things than I should. I have a really bad habit of working really hard on things that are past help.

Speaking of things that are past help, I’ve been struggling with a few decisions I made to be the bigger person. I hate conflict and pain for anyone, including myself. I see now that my trying to avoid certain things has screwed me over once again. There is regret. I hate regret. I can’t change the past, but I would do it differently if I could do it over.

Another thing I need to work on is getting my running back post hip issues. I have a relay race in a little over a week and I am no where close to being ready. I did place in two races in June, but a lot has happened since then. My relay team is competitive. I wasn’t ready last year, because of obvious stress and life reasons last year (race was earlier in years past), but i still pulled out a fast time. The year before I had a “road kill” on a girl who was on my high school’s state track team, which was super exciting for me. I don’t want to be the slowest one but then again, 9 days is too late to really do anything beneficial other than just running.

Around the corner, I am planning to make a trip to see some of my friends I haven’t seen much in the last year. I have regret that I haven’t seen them enough. I do have a LOT of work trips in October, November, and June. I really plan on making the most out of those and maybe adding some extra fun days on to them. I am blessed to have such good friends. I need to find more time for them.

I had a good day

Today is the best I’ve felt in forever. Yesterday wasn’t shabby, but today was pretty dang good. Did I mention that I wasn’t holding on to a ton of water either day? Yeah, that was a super huge plus!

I did about half my usual weights at the gym today, followed by a short swim. I made huge progress with the swimming, not being winded and doing more freestyle. Success! I was short on time because of my clinic today, so I was trying to just fit everything in.

On to the venue to set up for our aqua jogging clinic. I wasn’t able to get into the water last year. This year I almost didn’t make it because there wasn’t enough noodles and belts to go around (which reminds me all the noodles I bought last year are at my old house). We had a great turnout! No including our coaches, we had 17 gals and 1 guy. Fish really put us through the wringer with a 32 minute workout. At the end she gave the option to go without flotation. You better believe I tossed my noodle. It was HARD but good. I need to find a pool deep enough to do it in and be able to keep correct form. Today was a good reminder that it’s good cross training and not just for injuries. Plus you can do speed, intervals, and drills with it.

Afterward everyone went their own way. I went to lunch with one of my friends at WF. We were joined by 2 more friends later on. My boss had given me a $15 gift card there for covering her vacation. You better believe that whole dang thing went toward a salad. I even got the smallest container they have and I still made a $18 salad. Worth every penny because it’s 100% stuff I LOVE.

Now on to prep for the week and chores. It was a good weekend. There are a few things that would have made it better, like seeing Radney Foster, and more of my favorite people!

Dr says

So I saw my new Dr. on Tuesday afternoon. It was a long 3 month wait for an appt with him.

A friend asked how it went. I said “well I didn’t cry on the way home.” Not even joking on that, i’ve cried after every single Dr. appt in the last 4 years. A few of them during the appt. It actually went very well. He doesn’t do medications (he’s a PHD), just supplements. Any medication I need, like natural desiccated thyroid (NDT) will come from my PCP.

He was straightforward and blunt. In a caring way. Told me he treat all of his patients like they are family. Came in with a handshake and left with a hug.

He talked to me as an athlete and a sister. Something I haven’t considered myself being for several years.

So there are supplements. Bust out the “old man” pill box again. He was appalled at the hormones I had been on, so I am not going back there. Staying on the LDN and NDT now. Trying what he gave me for 12 weeks.

And then the dietary part. This is the part I am not wild about. Mostly because of what it is. I will do it, because I am more than willing to change what I eat to try to make myself better. It’s all I’ve done for the last 4 years. He wants me to do low glycemic/South Beach 1, 2. BLECH on a diet that is a diet. And BLECH on lowering carbs. I like carbs. I like being healthy and feeling good more.

Obstacles

So I ran a 5K on Saturday. My first in over a year. That should count for something, right? It was very warm and humid. I wasn’t ready. I still have horrible breathing problems. After 1/2 mile I wanted to quit. Seriously.

I didn’t. I ran the whole thing except the 2 water stops, where I paused to drink and catch my breath.

It felt horrible. I knew I wouldn’t have a stellar time but I wasn’t prepared for the attitude I had toward my finish.

I was disappointed. It was my slowest 5K since 2007. I am bigger. Not in as good of shape. And I still can’t figure out my breathing issues. These are all things I’ve not had to deal with in the last 7 years.

I got a 2nd place medal for my age group. I should have been happy, instead I was in the “2nd place is the first loser camp.” In my current shape there is no way I could have caught the 1st place gal, it wasn’t even close. And yes, there was more than 2 people 😉

ODB said he was proud of me. I’m actually glad he wasn’t there. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments. Looking back, I am proud of how I did, even though it wasn’t my best. It was the best I could do that day in my current state.

It’s hard to accept when you’ve fallen from glory. Even harder to figure out how to get back there.

Terrible Tuesday

So I went to the Dr on Tuesday. Mostly because I hadn’t been since January and I wanted my NP Accella thyroid refills upped.

The Dr was snarky with me, as usual. I told her I didn’t feel any different on the hormones, so I stopped taking them. She snapped at me that my labs were obsolete then. Fine, so be it. She didn’t suggest I start taking them again.

I told her, I feel good, but the weight and digestion issues are killing me. Her response had tears of anger and frustration welling up in my eyes. I fought them back and took her lashing. She told me, “you are getting older, and you have a slower metabolism because of the hashis. Move more, eat less.” I pointed out to her nurse that I didn’t have a weight issue until I was under her care for the last year.

I wanted to scold her and tell her to go back and read my file. Yes, I have scaled the running and workouts back, but I still move alot more than your average person. I eat cleaner than your average person.

I started taking LDN again a couple of weeks ago for inflammation (in AM, because I never got past the sleep issues on it), along with diatomaceous earth for my tummy. I feel better. I’ve lost 6 lbs. It’s far from where I need to be, but it’s progress.

New Dr doesn’t prescribe drugs, so I will be using him for general care and current Dr. for the LDN and thyroid meds only. Current Dr. ordered a new thyroid ultrasound (been a couple of years) and some different lab work. We will see where this goes.

On the way home, in the horrible IH35 traffic, I had a fender bender and my pretty car is now damaged 😦 That was just icing on the cake.

It’s a good thing I have such a wonderful boyfriend. He took me to dinner, where we enjoyed the rest of the gorgeous day and each other’s company. I almost forgot about the car and my Dr appt.

Beginner

I feel like I did just over a year ago when it comes to running. Defeated. I can’t breathe. I can hear myself and I sound like that person I always want to smack at events. My legs are heavy. I am slow, slow, slow. I can only imagine what I look like. None of my running clothes fits. I refuse to buy new clothes, so it’s too small running skirts, pouring myself into capris, or unflattering Nike tempo shorts.

July 8th can’t come fast enough. I don’t want to go see my regular Dr. before I see the new guy, but I may have to. I had my labs done 2 months ago and I never had a followup, which isn’t like me. I already had my heart set on seeing new guy. Praying he has a cancellation that I can take before July.

Despite all of that, it’s good to know I have a cheerleader who believes in me and supports me no matter what. Although, as much as a cry and whine to that person, I am surprised they haven’t run for the hills.

Wake up!

Man was today a rude awakening. I woke up tired, although I slept all night. I looked like heck at work today, I didn’t fix my hair and looked completely wrecked. And work was, well, irritating is the best word I have for that. Of course ODB was there to comfort me via telephone. He’s a blessing for sure. And an angel for putting up with my rants today and any day I am a grump. Luckily I am a happier person overall in the last 10 months.

Called the Dr. I am seeing in July, only to find out I was not wait-listed. Sad hamster. I am now, but they prioritize by disease, so I am probably at the bottom of the list. Which thankfully, is a good thing. He treats a lot of cancer patients, which is understandable that he would want to see them first.

I am not feeling great lately. The health coach I saw had me add certain things back into my diet which I am thinking are a no. I am talking to her again on Thursday. We will see what she says. Not only am I always super bloated, but my fatigue is coming back, and my asthma or whatever it is, is pretty horrible. Now overall, I am not talking as bad as 2-3 years ago. Just not as good as I had been feeling. Normal. That’s what I am aiming for. I just want to be normal!

Here’s to a better rest of the week. It’s going to be a busy one for sure. In addition to regular work, I work 6 days in a row at my seasonal job. OUCH!