Ay Ay Ay!

The last week has been a blur.

Friday-helped mom finish sister’s birthday shopping.  Cooked parents dinner at sister’s house.  Made her GF magic bar cupcakes.

Saturday-relay race.  I got severely dehydrated and ran pretty dang slow.  Then stupid me didn’t drink up until 2 pm.  Went out for sister’s birthday.

Sunday-my shoulders were so sore I couldn’t move, guessing it was from my dehydration.  I went to the gym but couldn’t do much of anything.

Monday-Wednesday-blur.  Work was super busy.  I tried to run Tuesday but only had time for 2 miles, which was brutal.  Started getting in a funk this morning and I can see it lasting for the next week.  I keep fighting it, but can’t shake it.  My heart is hurting pretty badly right now.  I know how to make it better, but I don’t see that happening.  That hurts even more. I want to magically fix everything and to live happily (most of the time) ever after.  I want my fairy tale damn it!

Never heard back from Dr. L, which makes me sad.  I have no idea what to do now.  I can’t wait 2 more months to see him and keep buying stuff that may not be helping me.  May be trying my mom’s Dr. in SA soon.

I am probably not renewing my domain in a few weeks, so it may be back to https://melissadishes.wordpress.com.  Will keep you posted.

Saturday smiles

I headed home Friday later than planned.  Wasn’t feeling the greatest, but I had a hair appt and family commitments on Saturday.  I missed my race Friday night which was a bummer, but one of my friends was able to sub my spot in our relay.

Didn’t sleep well at home, which is nothing new.  I usually sleep crummy when I go home.  Started feeling better mid-morning, despite the heat and humidity.  Mom and I took some special event historic tours in my hometown, which was really cool.  

Went to see my godson after lunch.  It had been a month since I had seen him last, which was way too long.  We had fun watching Cookie Monster, playing basketball, and being silly.

It was only about 24 hours but it was time well spent.

Back at my house now, drove through tons of rain to get here.  NOTHING North of Austin.  Bummer.

Tomorrow you will find me prepping for the week, cleaning, and praying for rain!

Doozy of a week

I knew leading into last week was going to be rough.  My boss was going to be out of town for a week and a half and I was in charge, in addition to the 1001 things I had to do.

Sunday-my cats weren’t having any part of the foster kittens anymore.  This included food protests. I returned the kittens to their foster mommy, who was expecting them back already anyhow.  I really wanted to give her another week of a break, but my kitties needed a break from the babies.

Monday-I honestly don’t remember much of Monday, except for having to deal with a very sensitive issue outside of work.  I tried to handle it the best I could.  It had been causing me stress for months, especially in the last month.  It wasn’t easy or pleasant and I hated that I had to do it.

Tuesday-Was a LONG day. Text from dad that mom’s Dr appt turned into a go to the hospital appt, to lets do an EKG, to she’s admitted.  WHAT?!?!  Yes, they kept her because they wanted an angiogram Wednesday afternoon.

I had to take care of LUNA that night and a meeting, which was only made easier because ODB is super smart and was able to walk me through what everything meant and exactly what mom was going to have happen.  Only thing that would have made me feel even better was him here to console me.

Wednesday- Worked a very hectic half day.  Sister and I jumped in the car, made a pit stop at Buccee’s to pick up some cheer-me-ups for mom, and made our way.  We didn’t tell her we were coming.  Surprise!  We got there about 1.5 hours before they took her away.  She was back pretty quickly.  They didn’t put any stints in.  She has to be on a few medications through to try to handle everything. She had to lie down for 3 hours after her procedure.  We went to ate and brought her food back.  Dad and sister thought mexican food was a good idea.  Dr said she could eat whatever she wanted, and my family obeyed that.  Enchiladas, rice and beans, isn’t exactly my idea of heart patient food.  

She had to stay overnight.  Sister and I went home.

Thursday-I was working on almost no sleep now.  I hadn’t been sleeping anyhow before the mom thing and that just piled on top of all of the other stress.  Hectic day at work and then had to take Chanel to the vet.  She still wasn’t eating well and she was bony.  I feared the worst.  All week I had been crying at night over it.  I even researched pet crematoriums because I was certain she was dying.  On the way home from work to get her, I had an absolute meltdown on the freeway, sobbing over my poor little kitty.  I was also upset that ODB wasn’t here to help me deal with whatever I was going to be told.

Thank God she’s ok.  Vet said it was probably still stress from the kittens, but she had a tiny little kidney elevation.  I needed to make her drink more water and eat low protein food.  Apparently her love of freshly cooked meat and me trying to make her gain weight in the last year was NOT a good idea.  So I was sent home with a very tiny bag of catfood which wasn’t cheap.  Whatever it takes to make her better.

Friday-Another long day at work, but at least I did get away at lunch for a swim.  I am fairly disappointed with my swimming skills and I know if ODB was around more, I would be able to practice with an expert coach more often.  ODB finally told me after my swim that I needed to chill the hell out and give myself a break.  He pointed out everything I had been through during the week and why I needed to cut myself some slack.  He’s a smart one I tell you!

After work, sister and I headed home for mom’s birthday.  I had planned on celebrating with her next weekend, but with everything that happened last week, she needed the cheer up.

Weekend-Greenfest was this weekend and I didn’t expect to feel the emotions I did.  I quit enjoying the Saturday night GF party years ago.  I never was much into partying until you pass out.  I did miss the day time stuff.   I did miss the company.  And the river.  And seeing people.  But the other half of me worried about how I would be treated if I showed up, because while I didn’t do anything wrong, I am an ex.  Exes always get the bad rap.  Even though we were both single when we first started going to GW and GF parties, I am sure things really wouldn’t be the same.  That’s ok.  That is another phase in my life that has passed.  All of  that didn’t really matter anyhow, because I was not in my own car, and at the mercy of my sister.

Speaking of phases, I made the comment on Saturday, I feel like I am stuck between my former life and the one that I want.  I don’t much like being stuck.

I am looking forward to this week being a little kinder to my heart and my mind. 

Law of the Garbage Truck

Got this story in an email from my dad and thought it was fitting for this morning…..

LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black
car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed
the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car
whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.
And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost
ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,
‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.
They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of
anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it
and sometimes they’ll dump it on you..
Don’t take it personally.Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take
their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home,
or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage
trucks take over their day.
Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so ….. Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don’t.

Hot date!

I have a hot date on Saturday night and I am SO excited!

It’s my first time alone with the guy.   I can’t spend enough time with him.   He’s sweet, handsome, and great company 🙂  Who could ask for more?

Will keep everyone posted on how it goes!

2013: Year in Review

I honestly don’t remember a whole lot from 2013, especially the first half.  To be honest, looking back, 2013 was just ok overall.  Majority of the year was stressful workwise, especially until September.

January

I don’t remember much except that I was supposed to run Disney and I couldn’t.  3 month running hiatus due to adrenal issues.

Hosted godson’s baby shower.  Sorority chapter at Texas State activated.  Poured myself into yoga.

I do remember legislative session was in full swing.  I was working A LOT.

February

More legislative session, not running, and tired.

Our secretary at work died 😦

8 year anniversary with Dan.

My godson was born!!!

Had surgery at the end of February.

Got a stand up desk (YAY!)

March

More legislative session.  Stress.  Recovering from surgery.  SXSW.

Couldn’t defend my Thin Mint Sprint title 😦  Volunteered instead.

I started run-walking at the end of March.  It SUCKED.  I couldn’t control my breathing.

April

More legislative session.  Stress.  No rain.  More work stress.

San Francisco for LUNA Summit with all but 1 of my teammates.  Great time!  Started run-walking more.

May

More legislative session.  Stress.  No rain.  More work stress.  Traveled a little for work.  Dan’s parents came for a visit.

June

Legislative session over!  Still no rain.

Changed doctors.

I became a Godmother.

Jalapeno Half in Fort Worth.  The only summer race I’ve ever done, may be my last!  Great weekend with mom and sister.

Turning point with work role.  New assignment.  Still no rain.

July

Working my old duties AND new duties at work.  Still no rain.  In fact, it got worse.

Work trip with visits with some of favorites.

Vacation booked to Hawaii.

Stopped doing yoga much at all.

Finally got some overdue appreciation during a big work event.

Had a big weight gain out of no where (big for a short amt of time and my frame).  I didn’t change my food or exercise.  Frustrated.

August

This was the turning point of the year.

Went to see Jason Boland and Pat Green in New Braunfels and had a wonderful time with a bunch of old friends.  It was very reminiscent of the old days.

I separated from Dan.  Hardest thing i’ve ever had to say/do.  He agreed it was right.

Hawaiian vacation cancelled.

September 

September was the longest month of my life.  Trying to get the last 8.5 years of my life sorted out.

I decided to live in our house until October.  After October 1, we would go our separate ways.   Except my way was me leaving my house.  My home.  Moved in with my sister.  He kept our house.

I only told my family and closest friends about the split.  That’s what he and I agreed to.

Spent a week in Houston to “find myself.”  Friends, family, sports, food.  To sum it up, it was a “game changer.”

Dove into my new work role 100% and made the decision to stop letting others dump on me.

October 

Started over.  No home.  No money.

Overwhelming support from my family, friends, and coworkers.

Traveled a lot.  2 work trips and a trip to San Francisco for the Nike Women’s half.  Great memories made.  Love SF.

Started getting back to many things I used to do pre-Dan.  Things I put aside because he didn’t like them or I no longer had time.

Once word started to get out that I was single, it spread like wildfire.  All of a sudden I had texts and messages from people who wanted to date me.  This was very foreign and unexpected.  Actually, uncomfortable.

November 

A little more work travel.

Not feeling great running.  No energy.  Not having an easy time lugging extra weight either.  Shiner Half was perfect weather for me, but the race for me was anything but.

I started missing my old house.  My stuff.  Being hostess for Thanksgiving.

Got my first Christmas job.  It was a great idea.  Not much money, but good people and warm hearts.

December

By far the best month of the year to me.  Despite missing my old house again.  My fireplace.  My Christmas tree.

I had another great month at work.  Got a raise.  Got lots of kudos.

I learned patience. Or the closest I will ever get to it.

I learned the true meaning of love.  Watching my godson open his Christmas gift.  Spending a weekend in yoga pants and an over-sized sweatshirt.  Carefully selected groceries.  Listening to others.

Cut back the running to almost nothing.

Waiting on salivary cortisol test to come in.  Fingers crossed my adrenals are fine.

~~I am almost 20 lbs heavier than I started the year.  I don’t have my own place.  Another whole year of frustrating visits to the doctors with no answers.

Even with those things hanging over my head, this year was ok.  I know 2014 is going to be a big year for me.  Big for my career, big for my health, and big for my relationships.   I will love more and work less.  This year I will NOT let vacation time roll!!!

I am going to make a new home for myself.  Spend more time with my godson.  Spend more time with family and friends.  Spend more time on me.