I feel like I did just over a year ago when it comes to running.  Defeated.  I can’t breathe.  I can hear myself and I sound like that person I always want to smack at events.  My legs are heavy.  I am slow, slow, slow.  I can only imagine what I look like.  None of my running clothes fits.  I refuse to buy new clothes, so it’s too small running skirts, pouring myself into capris, or unflattering Nike tempo shorts.

July 8th can’t come fast enough.  I don’t want to go see my regular Dr. before I see the new guy, but I may have to.  I had my labs done 2 months ago and I never had a followup, which isn’t like me.  I already had my heart set on seeing new guy.  Praying he has a cancellation that I can take before July. 

Despite all of that, it’s good to know I have a cheerleader who believes in me and supports me no matter what.  Although, as much as a cry and whine to that person, I am surprised they haven’t run for the hills.

Good words

Saw this on my friend’s Facebook page yesterday.  Very timely for several of us based on the comments and likes on her page…

“Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs. Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.” ~Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs

Things I like Thursday: podcasts

So I listened to a lot of the thyroid sessions a few weeks ago.  I liked Ben Greenfield Fitness, so I started following him on Facebook, signed up for his newsletter, and subscribed to his podcast.

I usually listen to podcasts when I travel alone and when I workout.  It’s what I do to learn (geeky podcasts) and laugh (Adam Carolla) when I am busy.

I am digging Ben’s podcast so far.  I listened to one about anxiety (it was very eye opening), one about weight issues with thyroid problems, and my favorite so far, aging like a badass.  The aging podcast featured a Texas athlete/author which offer some great tips and advice.  Definitely need to evaluate his advice and apply it to my own life.  He makes quite a few biblical references too, which I found to be refreshing.   I’ve been sorting through the rest of Ben’s 2014 podcasts to see which ones apply to me the most.

I used to listen to Paleo Parents and Balanced Bites, but I couldn’t keep up with all of them.  I’ve started being pretty selective with my Carolla podcasts as well, since he broadcasts 5 days a week, I can’t keep up.  I was once caught up, but then I didn’t have any for the gym 😉   So I  keep at least 2 in the playlist at any given time, so I have 2 workouts worth ready!


Due to something biting me in the butt from my past this week, I felt it was time to do a bunch of housecleaning on Facebook.  I foolishly tried to maintain relationships with quite a few people who clearly do not give a crap about me.  So they have all been deleted or hidden on Facebook.

No more getting upset over people who were clearly never my friends to begin with.  I know who my real friends are and I am very grateful for their friendship.  They are the kind of friends who have been there for me in the last year when I needed them most.


Drowning in chocolate

I had my 2nd phone appointment with my health coach last Thursday.  She said cut the coffee, caffeine sources, fat, and stress.  We went over different types of stress I may have missed pinpointing.

Coffee wasn’t hard.  I hadn’t been drinking it again for long.  Fat?  I had been eating more healthy fat in the last few years, she said cut it way back.   And I hadn’t had sodas in years, but ODB drinks diet Coke like crazy, so I started drinking Coke Zero again occasionally.

And stress?  That’s a tough one.  Work changes have my stress elevated.   People being non-responsive and non-committal has me stressed.  And the biggest stress is my worrying.  Worrying about my flowerbed that needs to be redone because I took a short cut, worrying about my washing machine leaking, worrying about my weight gain, worrying about symptoms coming back, and most of all, worrying about my relationship with ODB. I’ve never really been a stress eater, but twice this week, I’ve found myself stress eating.

First time was after coming back with my day with ODB.  The other was this evening.  A whole bag of chocolate covered nuts.  Both times I was feeling down about him being so far away. Honestly I feel like shit right now.  I ate way too much of something I am not supposed to have at all.   I thought I had a pretty good day today.  Gym, afternoon with mom, and then back home.  Traffic sucked, but that’s Austin.  The one thing that brought me down, other than the fact it’s hot, is a very short call from ODB.  It’s always good to hear from him, but sometimes the weekend calls make me sad.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Back to AIP.  Back to my workout routine.  And the stress?  Figuring out how to manage it better and making some changes.

20 qualities for marriage

Where was this article several years ago?

Also probably a good reminder of why I will never get married.

Speaking of that.  There is an inside joke among work friends that I will end up the crazy old cat lady.  We all know it won’t be true. Today at the part-time job, I helped the crazy old cat lady.  It made me very sad for her.  And me.  I don’t want to be that lady!

Is it ironic I am going outside to plant flowers while my cats watch?  Yeah.

Law of the Garbage Truck

Got this story in an email from my dad and thought it was fitting for this morning…..


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black
car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed
the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car
whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.
And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost
ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,
‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.
They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of
anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it
and sometimes they’ll dump it on you..
Don’t take it personally.Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take
their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home,
or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage
trucks take over their day.
Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so ….. Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don’t.

Keep on dreaming…

“Keep on dreamin’, even if it breaks your heart.”

~Will Hoge

I’ve been in a relating to music kind of mood lately.    I’ve had some major changes in work lately and they’ve been hard on me.  Morale is incredibly low.  I’ve always used the positive reinforcement from my regional coworkers.  I wish that praise also translated into appreciation in my own office.  It does translate into stress which I’ve moved far away from in the last year.

And then there is running.  It’s not happening.  I did fine in Houston and then the last 2 weeks I’ve been so exhausted working 2 jobs, I just don’t have the energy or willpower for anything.  Only a couple more weeks.  I am trying to get rested in the next few days.  I am starting to feel poorly overall again, which freaks me out.  This also stresses me out.

And then there is my personal life.  Love greater than I even thought was possible.  Everything I’ve ever wanted.  Except having it in the same place.  My current situation is both amazing and heartbreaking at the same time.  At times, it stresses me out.  I dream one day we will be together under the same roof.

I know some of my worries are only temporary and happiness is around the corner.  Everything happens for a reason.